As I Lay Dying
by solarcrystal
Summary: Elena was happy with her death. She had died holding her lover's hand, she had died after so so much had happened to her. So yes, Elena had the privilege of saying that even after the supernatural mess she had been involved in in her younger years, she was happy. So why the fuck is she awake again, her biological's mother face a few inches from hers? (AU, Elena centric)
1. 0: AS I LAY DYING

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own The Vampire Diaries.

**Trigger Warnings: **This story will contain delicate and mature topics, such as _suicide_, _depression _and _violence_. I'll make sure to post a specific trigger warning before chapters, so don't worry. If you're not comfortable with those topics, by any means, do _not_ read this. If you ever feel offended by the way I depict any of the more sensible themes, please make sure to tell me your point of view! I, however, want to make sure that you understand that this story will be written in Elena's point of view, so many things will be written like the character views them, not in the way I do.

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**AS I LAY DYING**

"Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself."

_LEV TOLSTOY － WAR AND PEACE_

Elena was happy with her death. She had died holding her lover's hand, she had died after _so so much_ had happened to her. So yes, Elena had the privilege of saying that even after the supernatural mess she had been involved in in her younger years, she was _happy_. So why the _fuck_ is she awake again, her biological's mother face a few inches from hers?

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**ANOTHER ONE! I've had this idea plaguing my mind for awhile now and seeing as I haven't seen it anywhere else (tell me if I'm wrong though) I thought it'd be interesting to let it play out. This is going to be an Elena-centric fic and it won't really _follow_ the timeline. You'll see why pretty quickly.  
****Anyway, I'll post the first chapter in a few days because I have way too much studying to make up for (yes, I haven't studied in days. No, I regret nothing.)  
****  
Please follow/favorite and review. **

**Check out my other TVD stories, _Glitch_ and _Violent_**_** Delights**_

**see u soon!**

**solarcrystal**


	2. 1: THE REBIRTH OF ELENA GILBERT

**Trigger Warning**: In the following chapter are present mentions of death.

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**AS I LAY DYING  
**CHAPTER 1: THE REBIRTH OF ELENA GILBERT

Elena lets out a loud wail and a part of her rejoices in seeing Isobel's face scrunch up. She shouldn't be happy to see the woman uncomfortable, but _still_. She had left her once, tried to use her as a sacrificial lamb as if she was a no one. So yes, even if she probably would never admit it, she was giddy about her mother being distressed. So she shows it, a wispy giggle escaping her lips before she can even _think _to stop it.

At that particular moment, something in Elena breaks. It was a sentiment she had been holding onto for so long, that now that it just isn't there anymore she doesn't know how to react. Because a part of her, in her past life, had hated the woman before her _so much_ － and now she's smiling at her, her eyes so caring and affectionate that all Elena wants to do is run away.

But then it occurs to her and she wonders _why_ she hasn't focused on it the moment her eyes opened. Considering she was now awake again, _alive_, she lets the most immature part of her reign her over －and Elena cries, her mother fumbling around trying to shut her up.

**#**

It has now been a few months since she woke up as a baby again and Elena will admit, she's pleasantly surprised with her biological mother. Isobel, contrary to all her expectations, hadn't shipped her to her parents' house. Elena ignores the voice in her head that tells her this is wrong, because she's a grown woman and _this isn't how things are supposed to be anyway_ － she ignores it everyday, as she wakes up to the gentle rocking of Isobel, as she meets her mother's green eyes that look at her as if she's the best gift anyone would ever ask for. But that voice is truthful, because Elena didn't belong with her －Elena was supposed to be with her parents, her adoptive ones, and in around one year she would have a little brother.

Elena is not even sure they are in Mystic Falls, because the buildings she sees everyday when Isobel takes her on their daily strolls she has never seen before. And Elena is scared, because does this mean she won't be able to see her family ever again? Her thoughts are cut off as her eyes slowly close, the melodic voice of Isobel lulling her to sleep once again.

Elena will figure it out, somehow.

**#**

She didn't. Figure it out, that is.

It's been a few years now and Isobel always takes her with her, never leaving her alone. Elena notices how she looks around sometimes, as if waiting for someone to come and sweep the two of them away. She sees how this woman, that a part of her is starting to recognize as _mom_, drowns herself in research when they're not attending lessons － because yes, Isobel is adamant on taking her with her to her university and, surprisingly, still maintains a perfect attendance.

Elena is happy, somehow. She's happy because the things Isobel studies are interesting and is happy because even if she's an old woman at heart, Isobel makes her feel cared for. She treats her like she's her daughter and Elena knows it's a weird way to put it, because she _is _her own flesh and blood, but this woman she spends all her time with is so different to the vampire she has met decades ago.

At first, Elena thought she was in an entirely different universe. No vampires to haunt her down, no witches who were after her blood －and she didn't know if she should have been sad about it, because most of the people dear to her had been vampires in the past, or if she should have been happy (no sacrifice, no dead family). But then she notices her, a street or two away from them as her little toddler feet move, her hand circled by Isobel's.

Katherine is there, looking at them as if she has hit jackpot, and a giggle escapes Elena's lips because, in some kind of way, she really has. Elena realizes that she will have to do something, because there's no way she's dying in a ring of fire again.

**#**

Elena should've expected it.

Whenever she had been happy in her past life, something bad happened to ruin it for her. In her death, she was happy － and then she woke up.

She's happy now, calling Isobel her _mom_ feels natural and Alaric has always been a funny paternal figure to her, so she was happy to be there for their wedding. But now it's been a few years and she's seven, walking back home from the neighbourhood's elementary school.

Elena doesn't see it, she doesn't even _feel _it until it's too late. The loud sound of her bones breaking will forever be printed into her mind, as she loses consciousness tasting nothing but blood in her mouth.

At the age of seven, Elena Flemming (once born Elena Gilbert) dies again, leaving a broken family behind.

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**This is it for the first chapter. I know it's a bit short, but I'm actually planning not to make them _too_ long. I'm pretty sure chapters won't be more than a thousand words, to be real with you guys. I hope you liked this and that you look forward to the next ones! **

**Please, follow/favorite and review. Check out my other stories Glitch and Violent Delights too!**

**see u soon,**

**solarcrystal**


	3. 2: FOOL ME TWICE

**Trigger**** warnings:**mentions of death and graphic violence. Self-deprecating.

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**AS I LAY DYING  
**CHAPTER 2: FOOL ME TWICE

Elena remembers a time when all she wanted was to die. It was after the accident on Wickery Bridge, when she felt so guilty and responsible for every little thing going wrong around her. It was when her mind screamed at her, because she had taken Jeremy's parents away from him and no one would ever give them back －and it was _her _fault, because of _her_ whims, _her_ questionable choices. It was all her and that summer had broken Elena in such depth, that she thought she would never get better.

Then school started, she met new people and as things still remained _her _fault, she found out that she didn't want to die.

So it's funny to Elena, that now that there's nothing she wants _more_ she actually can't. Her eyes open and it's hard to breathe, she takes awhile to notice that there's a machine attached to her mouth. Her sight is unclear and she's met with a sense of deja-vu, because the last time she wasn't able to see properly it was her rebirth. She tries to call for Isobel, her mom, because she needs her and the two have been attached to the hip for the past seven years.

The only thing that comes out of her lips is a muffled cry and as she focuses on herself, she notices that her hands are tiny. Worryingly so. She can feel herself panicking, her mind going into overdrive quickly. Because it's so _not fair_. She's supposed to be with Isobel and Alaric, she's supposed to braid her mom's hair as she tells her joke of the day to the both of them. This is not fair; it's not fair how as soon as she accepted the entire thing, she was seized away from the people she loves.

Elena doesn't acknowledge the couple standing by her crib, not the long brown hair of the woman nor the short buzzcut the man is sporting. She doesn't because she _knows_ who they are, she spent almost seventeen years with them. She doesn't because she has missed them like one would miss air, but she had accepted it decades ago. But now they were standing there, looking at her every movement like the worrywarts she knew they have always been, and she can't help but cry.

Her parents are alive, they are her parents again.

**#**

Elena smiles as Jeremy giggles at her funny faces. Her brother is two years and a half old and today is her fifth birthday, _again_.

This is her third time around and sometimes she wonders if this is something that has been happening to her for centuries, the only difference being that she couldn't remember it before. But that thought always leads to her spending hours awake in her little bed and when she actually succeeds in falling asleep, she usually ends up being shaken awake by her mother.

The nightmares are so terrifying. Sometimes it's her first life and her parents are dead again and she feels so _alone_. Others are of her last life, the sound of bones breaking loud in her head and a pain that shakes her so deep inside she thinks it would be better not to wake up. Then there are the ones she has the most often and those aren't about her either －because Isobel is there, standing before her grave with such a crushed look on her face that it's impossible to breathe.

Those are the worst ones and all Elena wants to do is tell her that she's there, that she loves her _so much_. But she can't and the image of her mom being so defeated, her eyes empty makes her throat close up as she wheezes in her sleep.

"Lena!" smiles her little brother, and Elena is shaken out of her thoughts. He stares at her as if she's the best person in the world, someone to admire and Elena wants to scream. She's not, she's actually a calamity. She wants to tell him he should run, get away from her －because Elena's existence is a disaster itself and nothing will ever come out of it.

She doesn't though and so she takes his little hand, leading him back inside. The sun is getting too bright and she doesn't want her brother to get sunburnt, being the end of June and all.

Elena's instincts tell her to stop and run away, because there's something wrong inside their home. It's too silent, too calm. She can't hear her aunt's laugh, nor her mother moving around in the kitchen. But she shrugs it away, they're probably upstairs.

Elena flinches, her eyes meeting a pair of blue ones. It's funny, somehow. She knows her life is about to end, it's obvious to her －the man doesn't want her to be alive, because that would give his step-son hope. Even knowing that, she can't feel anything.

She isn't frightened, not for herself. He probably killed her mother and aunt, she knows it. He's probably gonna kill Jeremy, just to see her suffer. But all Elena can focus on now is the flourishing anticipation, the wish of dying and _stay dead this time around_.

Elena cries and screams as the man's rough hands grab her little brother's neck. She gasps as she sees the pure, raw evil in his irises － because that's the only way she could ever describe the look in his eyes. He smiles at her, so wild and crazy and Elena cries out as his hands move, slowly, as if to taunt her. Her brother lays dead and Elena's brain stops working.

Because _he's dead he's dead he's dead_.

And it's her fault. It's her fault all over again.

She welcomes the knife in her throat like a mother would their child.

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**This is the second chapter! The next ones are a bit longer, but still not overly long - I like to keep these short. Thank you for the follows and the favorites! Please don't hesitate to PM me for anything you might need.  
****Remember to follow/favorite and please, I beg of you, review. I would like to get criticism.**

**Check out my other stories too: (TVD) Glitch and Violent Delights, (Teen Wolf)** **Foxtail Amaranth**.

**Thank you for reading and see u sometimes next week!  
**

**solarcrystal**


	4. 3: NINE LIVES

**Trigger warnings: **mentions of death, graphic violence and drugs. Signs of PTSD.

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**AS I LAY DYING  
**CHAPTER 3: NINE LIVES

Third time's the charm, right?

Elena's eyes open and bile swims up in her throat. She's sick and tired of this. She doesn't panic this time around, because this is getting old and she just wants it to stop. Elena _knows_ there's something wrong with her, because her thoughts aren't normal. She knows that she shouldn't look at life like it's meaningless, but she can't help it.

Because what's the point of caring, if she's gonna get deprived of it all?

She knows someone is watching over her, she can feel their gazes even with her muted senses. Elena closes her eyes, because she'll deal with it when the time comes.

(_Wrong_.)

**#**

Eight.

Those are the times Elena Gilbert Flemmings died after gaining conscience of being reborn for the first time.

The first hurt, because she was happy; she accepted it －but then a man lost control of the steering wheel and a truck crashed over her. The sound of her bones breaking plagues her mind when she closes her eyes, even now.

The second was like getting her heart ripped out of her chest, because her little brother was _dead_. He got his neck snapped, as if he didn't matter at all. Elena watches him closely, but doesn't dare talk to him － she'll only put him in danger.

The third was the less painful －she died in her sleep at the age of two, for a reason unknown. Elena doesn't remember it and she's grateful for that.

The fourth, _oh the fourth time she died_, it was so painful. Elena was fifteen and crushing on Tyler Lockwood's uncle －too bad she slipped down the Lockwood Mansion's stairs. She laid there, blood seeping out of her, before he came back home. It took Elena four hours for her eyes to close, her soul being transferred to another life.

Then there was the drowning. It made her scared of large bodies of water, the feeling of her lungs inflating with earthy water as she tries so hard to stay afloat. Elena hates it, because she never thought she would go through it again. Elena thinks she should stop assuming things, because fate seems to actively try to prove her wrong.

Seven was supposed to be a lucky number. She thought it was, because she woke up with Isobel by her side and in what seemed a feverish dream. Isobel was humming a lullaby, John by her side as he gazed lovingly at her. Elena smiled.  
Seven years later, she was killed in an attempted robbery. Elena decides she hates the number seven.

The last time it wasn't fate. It was all Elena －because, maybe if she did it herself she wouldn't wake up again. She might be wrong, she thought, as she ran the knife straight to her heart. Life draining from her eyes once again.

**#**

Elena is seven years old and this is the longest she has lived in a few lifetimes. She watches as Bonnie and Caroline bicker, but she can't get herself to care.

It was weird, seeing them again. She had met them in her past lives, but they were kids and Elena just isn't. She hasn't been in a long time, but she tried.

This time she doesn't. Her eyes are bored and she knows the two girls include her just because their parents tell them to, but Elena doesn't really want to be with them. A part of her still cares and she knows that the less they're involved, the longer and simpler their lives will be.

Elena pushes them away, but if anything her childhood friends' worst quality has always been their insistence. "Lena, what do you think?" inquires Caroline, her eyes shining in hope.

Elena shrugs, a bored look plaguing her brown orbs. "I don't care Caroline, I guess you're right."

She ignores the blonde's victorious face, as she mocks Bonnie. Elena rolls her eyes, because she didn't even know what they were talking about but it seemed like Caroline didn't catch that. Nor did Bonnie.

Elena notices that they don't catch things easily. She repreminds herself, because they're kids. They're _supposed_ to be stupid and naive. Yes, they don't know things. The duo doesn't know of everything that goes bump in the night, they are oblivious to the tragic lives they will lead. They're blind to the past six lives Elena was born, unconcerned by the misery of her mind.

She's tired of this. Elena sighs before exiting her room.

They can play by themselves, she thinks. She has some research to do.

**#**

_Elena is running. Her chest feels heavy and she can feel the erratic beating of her heart in her ears. She can hear people following her, their steps loud and all around the place. She takes a right turn, her feet leading her to a dimly lit corridor.  
_

_She slows her pace, her eyes wandering over the ruined portraits hanging on the walls. She stops completely when she catches sight of the one that seems the oldest; she's there, in the portrait. She looks rough, her hair in frizzy curls and her face bloodied. Elena's eyes are wide as she gazes at the details of the picture; the blue dress she's sporting in the portrait is ripped and soaked red on the collar, her hands are linked on her stomach and pale. _

_Elena feels lost as she looks at the gold framed piece of art; a hand closes around her throat and breathing becomes difficult. She turns around and meets _his _blue eyes, so deep and mean. Elena lets out a choked sound, fear gripping at her heart. _

Please, stop. Don't.

_She tries to scream, to move her hands and kick him away. His face is inches from hers, his stagnant breath blowing on her skin. She can feel the tears wetting her cheeks, the panic growing in her mind as a twisted dagger nears her eyes._

_She screams as he lunges the blade in her head. Elena can see herself, crying as her tears take a rosy color when mixing with the blood flowing out of her forehead. _

_Her sight gets obscured and her eyes close, as she drops to the ground. Mikael smiling victoriously at her._

Elena is shaken awake by her mother, still screaming. Her ragged breaths are hard to calm down and she doesn't notice the hand gripping at her neck, scratching her skin deeply. It burns, it burns it burns. Elena's brown eyes meet her mother's, so worried and caring.

Elena quietens, the breathing exercises her therapist told her to use scrambling to her foremind. Miranda looks at her, softly running a hand through her sweaty brown hair. Her daughter has been having nightmares since the first time she held her in her arms; when she was four, they decided to bring her to a therapist. Mrs. Dallan was a nice woman, who advised her not to resort to medicines instantly.

Miranda's mind screams, because things haven't gotten better at all. And so, in the morning, she calls the doctor.

The next week, Elena finds a bottle of antidepressants on her desk.

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**Thank you so much for reading! This story has reached 400 reads, three fourths of which happened just during the twenty-four hours after I posted the last chapter. **

**Thank u to Sadia251 for reviewing too! To be honest, she isn't my favorite character either. I don't agree with most of her decision and the love-triangle thing got too old too soon.  
I hope you liked this chapter and look forward to the next ones, as big bad Klaus will make his appearance soon. What do you think? Please let me know your opinion on my writing and this story.**

**As always, please follow/favorite and review.**

**Check out my other TVD stories, Glitch and Violent Delights, and my Teen Wolf one, ****Foxtail Amaranth.**

**I'll see u soon,**

**solarcrystal**


	5. 4: STONE OF THE MOON

**Trigger** **Warning**: death, murder and graphic violence?

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**AS I LAY DYING  
**CHAPTER 4: STONE OF THE MOON

When she's eight, Elena stops taking her medicine. Miranda doesn't notice and Elena doesn't think it matters much. Her ninth life is confusing.

Her brother isn't there with her and Elena knows it's her fault. Her mother never says it, but she knows her nightmares gave her huge amount of stress during her pregnancy. Jeremy Gilbert is born brain dead and Elena doesn't care, she only thinks that's one less person to worry about.

Her father, the biological one, tries to spend every few weeks at their house. John is interesting to hang around －she hasn't spent much time with him in the past. A few lifetimes ago she ended up in his care, but she died early on in that life. She vaguely remembers the resentment she felt every time he stopped by the first time around, but all she can associate with his figure now is the faint feeling of _protect him, he's family_. It's not strong －even when he stays around, Elena doesn't spend too much time with him. But he looks at her like a father should and so Elena decides he's important enough. He won't die, not for her.

Her parents are getting a divorce; Grayson accuses Miranda for the way Elena can't sleep (and Elena hates it, because he always makes it her mother's fault), Miranda says Grayson isn't the person she thought he was. Elena looks at them boredly, her small legs dangling from the tall stool of their kitchen isle. She takes a bite out of her mother's pancakes, before throwing the rest into the rubbish. She doesn't eat much in this life, anyway. The constant pressant thought of what's to come, what she needs to do, what they don't need to know… eating doesn't seem like a priority, so she barely does it.

It's better like this, she decides.

One day she follows Grayson to Whitmore College and finds an abandoned lab. She sees him laying on the operating table and giggles. He stares at her, curious. Elena remembers faintly that her mother told her that it's nice if she introduces herself first, so she extends her hand. Miranda should always feel happy and proud of Elena, that's something she promised herself.

"I'm Elena Gilbert, nice to meet you." Enzo looks confused and Elena notices that he can't move, so she retreats her short arm back to her side. He rolls his eyes, and Elena thinks that a few lives before she would've been offended by that, but he still tells her his name. His voice isn't as deep as it can get, it actually sounds a bit scratchy too. They probably haven't fed him in a few days and him being chest open and everything isn't really something that requires eating, right? Elena smiles at him, eyes into slits under the blinding lights and teeth as pearly white as ever.

She remembers he knows Damon, but the details are fuzzy and so Elena doesn't care. His chest is open, his unbeating heart there for everyone to see.

Elena tilts her head, her hand coming out to touch him. He growls at her and so Elena stops, her eyes as hard as steel. She turns towards the door when her father enters and he seems surprised to see her there.

"Elena, what are you doing here?" he yells at her, his face red in rage. Elena doesn't really like him. He's always yelling at her and he's using ugly, torture methods on vampires, isn't he? She wouldn't miss him, because he doesn't really matter to her. The decision is easy for Elena, Elena who seems to have been programmed to _survive_, to manipulate and play her own chess game against the whole world. And so Elena smiles at the vampire, incoherent thoughts forming in her mind. "You owe me," she says.

Elena shrugs and presses the button she _knows_ will free the vampire.

Elena watches as the vampire speeds behind Grayson, his neck twisting weirdly. Enzo's hand is buried deep in his back, and Elena wonders if he's doing it for good measure. She looks at her father's ring under the light just as his heart flies out of his chest and Elena can't bring herself to care. She smiles at the vampire, before strolling out of the room.

Grayson Gilbert died in 2001, his non-beating heart a few feet away from his cold body. Elena calls her mom, not an ounce of guilt in her.

**#**

Elena sees that her mom is sad but she doesn't understand why. She grips her mother's hand, because that's the most comfort she knows she can give her. Miranda glances at her and a soft smile appears on her face －Elena knows she misses the doctor and is probably regretting some things right now. But she made the woman smile, so Elena sighs happily as her mom's eyes glint in affection.

Another thing she doesn't really get is the reason why she's so adamant on making her hang out with other children. She doesn't like them, because they're always worried about the wrong things.

Elena sighs as Tyler snarls at her, his uneven teeth coming out in sight. He's mad because she doesn't want to play hide and seek and Elena has to put those exercises Mrs. Dallan taught her at work, before she snaps his arm. She shrugs his hand away from her shoulder and looks around at her surroundings.

They're at the Lockwood Mansion and Elena is bored. It's a Saturday but her mom had to work, so she left her at the Mayor's house because other kids would've been there too anyway. Elena would have preferred to stay home, but she knows her mom worries about her so she didn't say anything.

"C'mon Elena, we'll use the first floor too!" tries to convince her Caroline and for a moment Elena's eyes brighten. She nods, surprising all the other children around. The group decided they would leave the hard job of convincing Elena Gilbert to Caroline from then on and Elena didn't really care. She didn't agree because of the blonde.

Caroline's it and she starts counting up to fifty. Elena looks around and notices that everyone is visible enough for Caroline to find by herself. So she goes out of the room and goes upstairs, in the Mayor's private study.

Elena giggles, because once she would've been worried about her burgling abilities. She isn't now though and soon the moonstone is in the pocket of her baggy cargo pants. Elena slips out of the room and hides behind one of the curtains － hopefully Caroline wouldn't take too long to find her.

**#**

Elena stares at the milky stone as she's deep in her thoughts. She wonders if now is the right time to act, but then again she doesn't like to think. If she thinks bad things come up in her mind and her lungs start hurting, kind of like the time she drowned. She can feel the breath becoming difficult, can still almost _taste_ the murky water in her throat －Elena doesn't like thinking, because she doesn't like the memories that are ingrained deep in her head.

So Elena doesn't give it a second thought and goes out to the porch, her eyes meeting with a pair of dark brown orbs watching her from their sturdy and flowering dogwood tree. She mutters the words under her breath and he seems to pick up the words effortlessly.

He appears before her, his head tilted in curiosity. Enzo isn't really a friend, but he isn't an enemy either. He's ok to spend time with, she has noticed that in the past few months. There's something in her, deep and surrounded by the dark that has obscured her life, that _craves_ for a friend, affection. She has her mom, that's true. But talking to her mom about her own death, times and times over and telling her that she _will_ die again in the near future, because she doesn't want to go through the _bore_ of running and fighting against it again? No, Elena _needs_ someone to talk to, because she's scared her mind might take the best of her.

(She's not, because it already did. Elena needs someone supernatural to do her bidding, because she's turning _ten_ in a few months, and really, she can't go travel on her own. Enzo is the next best thing, someone who isn't attached to her granny-whatever-times-removed's face and so she befriends him. Kind of. She doesn't really get those things anymore, does she?)

Elena gives Enzo the stone and tells him to hide it somewhere safe; that same night Enzo tells her where he hid it and Elena goes to sleep.


	6. 5: JUST ANOTHER BODY

**AS I LAY DYING**

CHAPTER 5: JUST ANOTHER BODY

It's night and Elena tiptoes her way out of her room. She had another nightmare, but after years they don't affect her as much as they did when she was younger. It's tiring, she thinks. Everytime she wakes up yet again in another life, her mind seems to withdraw its capabilities. It's not like she turns into a true baby, not mentally wise at least － but things are sluggish and it always takes her a few years to make up proper and coherent thoughts.

She strains her arm towards the high cabinet, looking for the special tea she has asked Sheila Bennett to make. She's on her toes when it happens.

The doorbell rings and Miranda isn't home, because she's working a night shift. She started working more after Grayson's death and while a part of Elena misses her, she's also a bit happy to have more freedom. She's twelve now and Miranda doesn't worry much about her being home alone －she still thinks Elena is taking her medicines, the knowledge they go down the drain reserved for Elena and Enzo only.

Enzo is fun to be around. He's like a breath of fresh air to Elena, because he doesn't look at her weirdly like most of the town. He doesn't inquire either, their preferred hang out activity being reading books and watching boring telenovelas on the tv. He has an invite in their house, but he still waits out of the door for Elena to sign him in.

Elena figures it's him, so she takes her time to stroll towards the mahogany door. The bell keeps ringing and Elena is tempted to leave him out, but shrugs it off. He has taken the nasty habit of pouring his heart out to her unfeeling eyes, talking about his thoughts and problems. Elena doesn't care, even if a tiny part of her longs when he says Damon's name.

She opens the door and the little grin disappears. She's drinking her vervain twice a day, even if she can't be compelled, so she's not much worried －because until she's on the other side, the vampire before her can't do much. She figures she should do something, though, because seeing her only friend with a stake in his stomach and his arm grabbed by the other vampire makes her uncomfortable. The scene eerily similar to one of her past deaths for her to ignore it.

Her brown eyes meet the tempestuous blue of the Original and Elena's breath stays the same, her heartbeat still ticking the calm, unperturbed rhythm she was used to.

Elena grins, this time the smile is vicious and calculating; her brown eyes shine for the first time in a while, the anticipation of something different roaring in her blood.

"I suppose even one thousand years old vampires like to read the newspaper." His eyes flesh in curiosity and she's sure he's doubting her. She wonders if he'll want her to prove herself, but it's not like she can't. "I'm Elena Gilbert, nice to meet you, sir. I would like to make a deal with you."

Elena sits on the porch with a now full backpack and Enzo by her side, his form unconscious after Klaus snapped his neck. The two of them, well three if the momentarily dead vampire is to be counted, are waiting for Miranda to come back from work. Elena hasn't slipped her vervain in the morning, so Klaus agreed to compel her.

While Niklaus doesn't really like the peaceful approach, because he would've readily snapped the woman's neck, he decides that he would give the child next to him the benefit of not seeing her mother die. So, when Miranda comes back from work to two grown men sitting with her daughter, she doesn't have time to question them.

Her sweet, little Elena is spending the summer in California with a family friend, after all. So Miranda enters her house and ignores the now cold herbal tea on the kitchen counter. She's working such tiring shifts, she must've forgotten it this morning.

**#**

When Enzo comes around, he's met with the unflinching stare of his little human. It takes him a few minutes to remember what happened, but when he does he springs on his feet, his eyes looking around the hotel room they're in for the threatening vampire.

His brown eyes settle on Elena when she grabs his hand, her gaze as calm as ever. "He's out feeding, don't worry." She tries to comfort him, but she's aware she's not really good at it. She doesn't like him being here, because that means Klaus has something over her －but she doesn't think about it, her mind trying to conjure what she should and shouldn't say to the one thousand years old vampire.

Elena ignores the inquiring looks Enzo is sending to her, because she doesn't really want to explain the mess she dragged him into. She restrains a chuckle, realizing that this is way less chaotic than the way it happened the first time around.

Enzo seems to pick up something with his hearing, because his body tenses up and his eyes stare unflinchingly at the door. Elena notices the cold sweat gathering at his temples and a part of her screams, because no matter how hard she tried she still couldn't save everyone.

Elena isn't sure her friend will live to see another day, not after she's finished talking with the hybrid. It's just another body, her mind supplies － just one more who's robbed of life because of her.

Elena doesn't flinch when he opens the door, nor when his eyes stare curiously at her. It's been around two days since they left Virginia and the hybrid made sure to constantly snap her friend's neck. She wonders if he'll make him suffer to get a reaction out of her, something he has yet so succeed in. She doesn't feel safe, because the vervain is out of her system and a part of her is still vaguely aware of the past actions of the oldest in the room.

Elena doesn't move her eyes from Enzo's form. She continues watching, as if it was a mere show, as Klaus snaps every bone in the younger vampire's body. She doesn't flinch when her friend screams, his cries desperate. She doesn't yell at Klaus to stop, because he wouldn't listen anyway. She simply sits on the soft sofa of the hotel suite, the mug of hot chamomile she has ordered through room-service in her hands. She doesn't cry, her heartbeat doesn't spike up and her breath doesn't jump.

Elena wonders if her mind associated Enzo with the word 'friend' for convenience, because her thoughts would become too long if it called him 'vampire who's helping me contact the strongest being on Earth for my own agenda'.

She's quiet as she watches the hybrid's hand discend, blood marring the suite's doesn't feel sad, doesn't feel angry.

Elena doesn't feel and so she stares at Klaus, uncaring of the severed head looking at her on the glass table in front of her.

**#**

**HI? I'm alive, kind of. Sorry for the late late late update. Even if I'm stuck at home for the unseeable future and have been for now pretty much a month I still wasn't sure about this chap. (I'm from Italy lol).. I've had this chapter written since the very start, _however _I'm not sure about this? Like when posting the others I've added a few changes here and there but this one I've just left like. this.  
Hope it's enough to be forgiven and I'll make sure to have the next one ready and... better and possibly longer soon :)  
Thank you so much for the follows and favorite, I'm really excited to see so many people enjoying this fic.  
Please review and lemme know what u think about it 3 **


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